Soothe the Throat

Dear hidingtrumpets,

I just got so excited when you asked about specific products because I LOVE products! Usually I would just tell you to refrain from shouting at a basketball game, but I understand the intensity of last night's Valpo vs. Butler game, so I'll allow it this time.

If you expect to be screaming and shouting at another game or perhaps a concert (probably not one of yours at the Chapel), I suggest a little ice cream. Yes, you are all wishing I would have been your mother growing up, aren't you? But not only is ice cream refreshing in hot temperatures -- such as a gym or concert hall -- but it also soothes the throat! AND, look what I found:

Dr. Bob's ice cream. It has to be good for you if it is prescribed by a doctor! So have a couple mouthfuls before the next game; I suggest the "Strawberry, Sour Cream and Brown Sugar" flavor. Just don't blame me if your throat produces that bubbly, cloggy voice that happens after you eat something creamy.

-Toot

Dear hidingtrumpets,

Obviously, you're asking this question for a friend because I know for a fact that you were not screaming like a crazed student section sitter should have been on Tuesday. Yes, I was watching you.

Side note: I quite enjoyed seeing you get my text AND how you proceeded to show it to your maintenance. I'm glad I'm that funny.

But, back to the question, I prescribe tequila. After a few shots of it, you won't know if your throat is hurting from the screaming or from the Jose Cuervo.

-Baby Clark


Dear hidingtrumpets,

Tequila also makes your clothes come off. Well, at least it does for Baby Clark. So consumer beware.

-Toot